Road Trip
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Blaine has been having a hard time remembering who he is and Sebastian just happens to be there. Slash, sexy time, self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

Glee story I've been working on for awhile. Warnings: Slash, sexy time, self-harm. Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

"Hey Blaine," Sebastian said sitting across from me.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

Sighing I ran a hand through my hair and looked up at him. Right now I had a lot on my mind and it seemed like going to talk to Kurt about any of this was just out of the question.

I wasn't sure if Sebastian was the right person to talk to either. I needed someone that was honest, though not as much as Santana. Since Sebastian was here why not use him.

"Who do you think I am?" I asked calmly.

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked confused.

"What was your first impression of me?"

"I thought you were sweet, friendly, put together, boring, maybe a bit of a pushover. Why does this matter?"

"Some family came to visit over the weekend. My niece, Vanessa, is five years old and hasn't seen me in a few months. When I went to give her a hug she pulled back and asked who I was. I told her I was Blaine and she laughed. She said that Blaine would never wear something like that and asked who I was again. It took ten minutes before she believed me."

Sebastian gave me a sad smile before standing up and motioning for me to follow him. I had no idea why I felt like I could trust him, but I found myself following him to his car.

The drive was silent and I couldn't figure out where we were going. After a few minutes passed Sebastian pulled into the mall parking lot. Slowly getting out I followed him inside and waited.

"Okay," I said looking around, "What are we doing here?"

"Show me the last outfit your niece saw you in and the outfit from last night," Sebastian said calmly.

Rolling my eyes I walked into a store and picked out cargo pants and a band t-shirt. I started to get the outfit from yesterday when I realized that it would be easier to just point out what I was wearing now.

"That's what she last saw me in," I said pointing to the outfit then at myself, "This is basically what she saw me in last night."

"What do you think is more comfortable?" Sebastian asked leaning against a wall.

"I like them both, but I do prefer that one a little more than this. I mean, I don't even have to do my hair."

"Then why are you wearing that?"

"You have met Kurt, right? And all the guys from Dalton? I mean, I know now that they wouldn't mind, but before… I was enough of a freak already I just wanted to fit in. So I wore the same clothes as everyone else. It just made more sense to keep my style the same after I left Dalton since that's all Kurt knew me in."

"You're pretending to be someone you're not, Blaine. How is your niece supposed to recognize you when you're not dressing the way you want to?"

Staring at Sebastian I realized that he was right. I just didn't want Kurt to hate my outfit because I wasn't being as 'put together' as I normally was. That really just wasn't who I was.

"Blaine," Sebastian said touching my shoulder slightly, "How about I make you a deal?"

"What kind of deal?" I asked confused.

"Skip school with me. Show me who you really are."

Biting my lower lip slightly I nodded my head. Sebastian smiled softly for a second before it formed into a smirk. He grabbed the clothes, took off the tags, and pushed me into a dressing room.

"What are you doing?" I asked before he closed the dressing room door.

"Buying you these clothes," Sebastian said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "If I'm going to get to know you I want you in your normal clothes."

"What about you? Why don't you change out of your uniform?"

"If that's what you want. I'll be right back."

Smiling I quickly changed and started to think. Sebastian did something that caused me to have to get surgery and now I was going to spend a day with him letting him get to know me.

With a quick shake of my head I walked out of the dressing room to find Sebastian already standing there waiting for me. My eyes wondered over him causing my breath to get caught in my throat.

I thought that he was amazing when he was in his uniform, but now he was wearing dark wash jeans, an emerald green t-shirt, and a black leather jacket. He looked perfect.

"Hello," Sebastian said smirking.

"Hi," I said swallowing roughly, "Umm… Is that how you normally dress?"

"Yes. I like to live up to my nickname."

"What's that?"

"Lucifer."

Hearing Sebastian call himself Lucifer mixed with the smirk on his face should not have made a shot of heat run through me, but it did. Clearing my throat I moved closer to him and ran a hand through my hair.

"I still have gel in my hair," I said calmly.

"We can fix that," Sebastian said shrugging, "Just go into the bathroom and wash it out."

"My hair will be wet all day then."

"Good thing it's warm out then."

A soft chuckle fell from my lips as I moved past him and went into the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror I wondered what I was doing. I felt like myself in these clothes, but with my hair gelled back I was still the guy that went to Dalton.

As I continued to try to figure out who I was I didn't notice the door open and someone slip in. A moment later Sebastian was standing behind me and the sink was turned on.

"I got a towel," Sebastian said in a whisper.

"I don't know if I can do this," I said softly.

"Let me help."

Sebastian placed a hand on my shoulders and pushed me forward. Putting my head under the water I let wash over me. When my hair was finally wet Sebastian slowly started to work his hands through my hair.

Biting the inside of my cheek to hold back the moan that was threatening to slip through my lips I found myself surprised by how gentle Sebastian was. It was the opposite of his personality.

"Turn around," Sebastian said softly.

Doing as he said I moved so I was looking up at him. Once my hair was under the water again Sebastian slowly started to work his hands through my hair again, but his eyes refused to look at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked staring at him.

"Nothing," Sebastian said shrugging, "I think I got it all. Just lean forward and I'll use the towel to dry your hair."

Nodding my head slightly I moved forward and let Sebastian start drying my hair off. He and I were facing each other causing me to look up at him slightly. His eyes were focused on his hands, but they traveled down to meet mine.

Seeing a soft smile come to Sebastian's lips I smiled back at him happily. Sebastian cleared his throat and pulled the towel away while moving so there was room between us.

"I didn't know your hair was curly," Sebastian said staring at me.

"I did a pretty good job of hiding it," I said running my hand through my hair.

"You look better with the curls."

"Thanks."

Sebastian nodded his head a few times before motioning for us to leave the bathroom. Walking out in front of him I made my way towards the front of the store only to stop when I saw that he wasn't beside or behind me.

Turning around I looked around for Sebastian until I found him standing by the cashier. A charming smile came to his lips as he handed the towel to her before grabbing two pairs of sunglasses and putting money down and coming to me.

"Here," Sebastian said handing me a pair.

I cocked my head to the side while Sebastian slipped his sunglasses on. Staring at him I noticed just how dark and sexy he looked, but mostly I saw him as a mystery. One I wanted to solve.

Walking out of the store I couldn't help but smile. Sebastian and I got off to a rough start and middle, but right now it was amazing. It was like he was a completely different person.

"Where do you want to go now?" Sebastian asked opening the car door for me.

"You pick," I said happily.

"I would, but I doubt you'd want to do what I'd suggest."

"Tell me."

Sebastian turned towards me and let out a soft sigh. Surprisingly enough I could see that he was being genuine. He didn't look like he was trying to play me or anything like that.

"Tell me, Sebastian," I said resting a hand on his knee.

"Three Doors Down is having a concert in Indianapolis tomorrow," Sebastian said calmly, "I was going to skip school and drive down there. That's why I had these clothes in my car."

"Let's go."

"You'll miss three days of school, Blaine. Are you sure about this?"

"I haven't been to a real concert in almost two years, Sebastian. Let's go."

"Blaine."

"What? Why can't I go? What would be keeping me back?"

"Kurt."

Hearing my boyfriends name I felt the smile slip from my lips. I hadn't thought about Kurt since I climbed into Sebastian's car. Now I was about to leave on a three day trip with him without another thought.

"Let's go," I said smiling again, "Kurt will understand."

Sebastian stared at me for a moment before smiling slightly and starting the car. Getting comfortable in the passengers seat I turned towards Sebastian and watched him drive.

"Hi," Sebastian said looking at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Hello," I said happily.

"What are you doing?"

"Just watching you drive."

"Blaine, you're insane."

Grinning at Sebastian I pulled out my cell phone and took a picture of him. It wasn't often that I did something like this and I wanted to be able to remember this for the rest of my life.

"Grab my bag from the backseat," Sebastian said calmly.

I cocked an eyebrow before stretching so that I could reach his bag. Picking it up I brought it to the front seat and placed it in my lap. Once I finished moving Sebastian reached over and started to dig through it.

"I could do that for you," I said calmly.

"And have you know what all is in here?" Sebastian said smirking, "Come on, Blaine. Leave a little mystery in our relationship. Anyways, I got it. Here you go. Better resolution then your phone."

Taking the camera from Sebastian I quickly put the bag back and started to take pictures of him again. The more pictures I took the more I realized just how beautiful he was.

As Sebastian pulled up to a stop light he grabbed the camera from me and snapped a few pictures of me. Laughing happily I did random poses until we heard a car horn behind us.

Sebastian handed me the camera with a grin on his face as he started to drive again. Giving him a smile back I wondered if this is how it would always be if I hung out with Sebastian.

I had to admit that he was fun to be around. It was almost like he didn't care about what was going on in the world. All that mattered is what he was doing right now and who he was with.

There had been a time when that was me. When I was just all about the music and about making the people around me feel like they were the most important people in the world.

"I don't know who I am," I said softly.


	2. Chapter 2

Glee story I've been working on for awhile. Warnings: Slash, sexy time, self-harm. Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

"I'm not thirsty, Sebastian," Blaine said softly.

"Hey," I said smacking his shoulder gently, "No being depressed. This trip is about you remembering who you were before all of these happened. Were you depressed before?"

"No."

"Okay, then I'm about to go in there and buy enough food so we don't have to stop for food or drinks until we get to the concert. Would you like Twinkies and Pepsi for the rest of the day or would you like to come and pick out what you want?"

Watching Blaine roll his eyes playfully at me before jumping out of the car I couldn't help but start laughing at him. I continued to laugh as he started to do this puppy dog pout.

"Come on," I said pushing him forward, "Get in there and get something to eat."

Blaine stuck his tongue out at me before going into the store. Shaking my head I stuck my hands in my pockets and made my way in the store as well. Once inside I looked around and saw that Blaine was already in the back of the store.

Walking to him I saw that his arms were already overflowing with drinks. I rushed forward and grabbed a few bottles before they fell. When I had moved everything so I was holding most of it I looked up at Blaine and saw him smiling.

I quickly covered up the gasp that threatened to fall from my lips when I saw that smile. Blaine always did that to me though. His smile made me feel amazing, but being around him was even better.

My heart sped up, my palms got sweaty, and it was difficult for me to find the right thing to say. That itself was odd for me. Talking was one of the things that I was really good at until Blaine came along.

"How are we supposed to get food?" I asked looking at the drinks.

"We'll pay for this then come back and get more," Blaine said like I was stupid.

"Of course, what was I thinking assuming that this would only take one trip?"

"I know. Silly little boy."

Laughing slightly I shook my head before following him to the register. I had to say that I liked this side of Blaine. He seemed so carefree and laidback. It was the complete opposite of the guy I thought he was.

As I paid for everything I watched Blaine bounce on his feet. Taking the bags in my arms I motioned for Blaine to continue shopping while I went to put the bags in the car.

When I was outside and away from Blaine I let myself deflate. Asking him to come to the concert with me seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I realized how stupid I was being.

"Sebastian," Blaine said walking up to me, "Are you okay?"

"What?" I asked looking up at him.

"You look like someone just kicked your puppy. Is something wrong?"

"Come on, Blaine, I'm fine."

"No, you're not Sebastian. You're doing all these nice things for me. Why won't you let me help you?"

Sighing I slipped off my sunglasses and stared at Blaine trying to figure out what I was supposed to say. Telling Blaine that I had a huge crush on him that was just getting bigger didn't seem like the best idea.

"Is it about me?" Blaine asked softly.

"Blaine," I said sighing.

"It is. What did I do? Come on, do you not like this side of me or something? Please, tell me what I did wrong, Sebastian."

"Nothing."

"Then what…"

Before Blaine could finish his sentence I was pushing him against the car and attaching my lips to his. Keeping my lips against his for a moment I went to pull back only to feel his hands run up my arms and thread in my hair.

Feeling his lips gently start to move against mine I moaned softly. The kiss was gentle and innocent for a few moments, but soon I felt myself running a tongue over his lower lip.

I expected him to pull away fully and say that all of this was a mistake while insisting that I take him back to Lima. Having his mouth open slowly instead I instantly snaked my tongue in.

The kiss continued until I felt like my lungs were going to explode. When I pulled back I saw that Blaine had a happy smile on his face. I loved that look on his face and that I was the one that put it there.

"Have you ever been told that you're an amazing kisser?" Blaine said his eyes still closed.

"No," I said honestly, "But it's nice to hear."

"You're the best I've…Oh no."

"What's wrong, Blaine?"

"Kurt."

Slowly it clicked in my mind that Blaine was talking about his boyfriend. I quickly took a step back to give him some room. I expected him to start to freak out and scream, maybe hit me, but he didn't.

Instead Blaine reached forward and threaded his hand in my hair again. His lips were once again on mine though this time he was adding more passion and heat to the kiss.

"Why is that different with you?" Blaine asked pulling back again.

"What's different with me?" I asked confused.

"The kisses. God, I love Kurt. I love him with all of my heart, but when I'm kissing you it's like every single one of our kisses rolled into one. I don't get why."

Smiling to myself I moved so my hands were resting on Blaine's hips. It felt amazing just to be able to touch him so innocently. I wanted so much more than this though.

Blaine slipped his hands around my shoulders and moved so he was pressed up against me. Closing my eyes I soaked in the extra warmth before moving away from him completely.

"What is it?" Blaine asked cocking his head to the side, "I thought you liked me too."

"I do," I said calmly, "That's not the problem."

"If this is about Kurt…"

"It's not about him. I really don't care about him. Blaine, I know for a fact that I could fall for you. I mean, I could fall in love with you. Everything was fine when I just thought that this wasn't going to go anywhere, but I know that's not true anymore."

"You like me that much?"

"I do."

A wide grin formed on Blaine's lips as he gently cupped the side of my face. Smiling back slightly I kissed his palm before slowly turning around and making my way back into the store.

Blaine followed me the smile never leaving his lips. Clearing my throat I started to pick up some random food hoping to distract myself from my feelings. Blaine was smiling though, maybe he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

I knew that I came off as a bastard, my nickname wasn't Lucifer for nothing, but I wanted to be different with him. In some ways I already was. Letting people know what I was feeling was a big no-no in my life.

The one thing that my family had taught me was how a person could destroy another. Loving Blaine could be the best thing feeling in the world, but I knew that it wouldn't last.

When Blaine was by my side with his arms filled with food I went and paid once more. We made our way back to the car and loaded the backseat up. Once everything was in the car I slipped into the drivers seat and started the car.

We drove in silence for almost half an hour before I felt something on my knee. Glancing down I saw that it was Blaine's hand. Swallowing roughly I tried to figure out what to say, but nothing came to mind.

"What are you afraid of?" Blaine asked softly.

"Who says I'm afraid of anything?" I said letting my mask fall into place.

"I say it. I also say that you don't have to hide from me, Sebastian. Tell me what's going on in that mind of yours."

"Nothing."

"You can admit to liking me, maybe even loving me in the future, but now you're shutting down? How does that make sense?"

"It doesn't. Love never make sense. It also doesn't last. I've seen love fall apart more often then I should have. I've watched people who are supposed to be in love do everything possible to hurt each other. I can't let myself get that far, Blaine. I won't let myself turn into my parents."

"Your parents? Tell me about them."

Shaking my head I wondered what I was doing. Blaine didn't have to know anything about my home situation. No matter what happened he was still going to be with Kurt in the end.

"Please Sebastian," Blaine said squeezing my knee.

"My parents were in love for years," I said softly, "They were supportive and everything. The perfect couple. Until my dad found out about my moms affair. He did everything in his power to hurt her. That was thirteen years ago. I've watched them try to break each other ever since."

"Sebastian."

"I won't let that happen to me, Blaine. I won't let myself hurt someone I love even if that means I'm alone for the rest of my life."

"Stop the car."

"Blaine…"

"Now."

Pulling the car over to the side of the road I watched Blaine get out of the car and walk around it until he was at the drivers door. He opened it roughly before pulling me until I undid my seatbelt and got out.

I had no idea what to expect when I was standing in front of Blaine. It was almost like I was waiting for him to explode and hit me. I doubted I would put up a fight after I hurt him the way I did.

Blaine didn't say anything as I pushed me into the car door and latched his mouth to mine. I almost instantly let out a soft moan loving the feeling of him against me. I had never felt more at home then I was now.

Breaking the kiss Blaine kissed up to my ear and sucked it into his mouth. I let myself get completely lost in the feeling of his lips on me. The only thought in my head was how I never wanted this to end.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," Blaine whispered in my ear, "I've thought that since I saw you at Dalton. God, if I hadn't been dating Kurt I would have jumped you. I wouldn't have even cared about the other Warblers."

"You're dating Kurt now," I said trying to catch my breath.

"Not for long."

"Blaine…"

"I left Dalton because I thought that Kurt was my soul mate. I thought we'd be together forever. Dreamt of our future. Now though…"

"Now?"

"I see you. Every time I see you. And not just dating in high school. I mean, the whole nine yards."

"The whole nine yards? Like what?"

"Our children."

Freezing I pushed Blaine away from me and stared at him. We were only sixteen years old and he was thinking about all of that. How was that supposed to make me feel when I took into account the fact that he's with Kurt, even though he's going to break up with him soon.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said softly, "I shouldn't…"

"Don't," I said holding my hand up, "You see us that far into the future?"

"I do."

"Blaine, I've never been in a relationship before. I've had one night stands and all of that, but never a relationship. I want to try with you. I'm going to mess up though, a lot. I don't want to hurt you."

"We'll take it slow and I'll help you. You just have to trust me, Seb. Let me help you and talk to me."

"There's a lot to tell."

"We have three days together. Just the two of us. It'll be fun."


	3. Chapter 3

Glee story I've been working on for awhile. Warnings: Slash, sexy time, self-harm. Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

"Blaine," Sebastian said as I turned the stereo down, "What are you doing?"

"I thought we were going to talk," I said calmly, "It's been two hours, Sebbie, and all we've done is sing."

"I don't talk easily, B, but I'll show you something if you promise not to freak out too much."

Nodding my head quickly I turned as much as I could in my seat and stared at Sebastian. I couldn't say that I liked the look in his eyes, but I had to know at least something about the man.

I watched as Sebastian stripped off his jacket and threw it in the backseat. The sleeves to his shirt were a little longer then I expected since everything else seemed to fit so perfectly.

"Roll it up," Sebastian said not looking at me.

I moved my hands slowly wary of what I was going to find. A gasp fell from my lips when I saw all the different scars running across his wrist. The one that got to me the most was a vertical one in the middle.

Touching the scars gently I felt the tears gather in my eyes when I realized just how deep they were. Sebastian had tried to kill himself and from the looks almost succeeded.

I saw his fist clench into a fist like he was trying to stop himself from pulling away. His body was shaking slightly and tears started to gather in his eyes. I had never thought I'd see Sebastian like this.

"My Dad sent me to a therapist," Sebastian said in a whisper, "To help 'fix' me."

"Fix you?" I asked confused, "Wait, to make you stop being gay?"

"Yeah, I spent three months in that hellhole before I…They wouldn't listen to me, Blaine. I tried so hard to be strong, to not break, but at the end of the day I couldn't handle it."

"Sebastian."

"After my attempt I moved to France with my mom, but I had to move back in with my dad. There's a reason I'm forced to go to Dalton."

"And why you can be such an ass."

Sebastian let out a soft laugh while sparing a glance at me. I hated how sad he looked, but I could see that he was feeling a little better. This was probably the first time he'd ever even spoken about it.

Moving my hand away from the scars I ran my fingers over his fist before bringing it up and kissing the scars gently. I hated that this was what his life had been like when he was younger.

"I have more," Sebastian said pulling his hand away from me, "If you saw the rest of my body…Let's just say I do my best not to let people I know see me without being fully clothed."

"Do you still…?"

Seeing Sebastian grip the steering wheel tightly I knew I had the answer. He was still hurting himself and I had no idea how I was supposed to help him. I knew that I wanted to do everything to help.

I opened my mouth a few times trying to figure out what to say, but nothing came out. Sebastian hurt himself, he tried to kill himself. I wanted to help him, to make him realize he didn't need to do this anymore.

"Do you mind driving for awhile?" Sebastian said pulling over.

"Sure," I said climbing out of the car.

Sebastian nodded his head slightly before getting out himself. As we passed each other at the trunk I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his waist and pull him into a hug.

I felt him stiffen against me before wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on mine. He was still shaking a little, but it felt like he was getting back to his normal personality.

Pulling back I made him look at me and saw that there were tears gently falling from his eyes. I brushed them away with my thumb before leaning up and kissing his lips softly.

Sebastian sighed softly against my lips and pulled back. I could see the sadness slowly leaving his eyes, but I knew it would never be truly gone. He wasn't going to deal with it alone though.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian asked staring into my eyes.

"Kissing you," I said confused.

"You're dating Kurt. Honestly, I don't care about him, but I'm a bastard. You're not, Blaine. You're a good person. You love…"

Sighing I pulled Sebastian into another kiss pouring every emotion I was feeling into it. Sebastian had been after me since we met and now he was pulling back. I just didn't understand that.

"We're not going to make the concert if you don't stop kissing me," Sebastian said smirking, "I know it's difficult, but you need to keep your hands to yourself, B."

"Not until you get that I want this," I said firmly, "That I want you."

"You're with Kurt."

I couldn't help but rolling my eyes at this. Sebastian's nickname was Lucifer, but he was being the sweetest guy right now. Okay, so he didn't care about Kurt's feelings, but he did care about me.

Pulling out my cell phone I quickly dialed Kurt's number, put it on speaker, and waited for him to answer. He was going to be upset about this, but I felt like it was going to happen sooner or later.

"Blaine," Kurt said loudly, "Where are you?"

"I'm on a road trip, Kurt," I said looking into Sebastian's eyes.

As soon as I said 'Kurt' Sebastian's eyes widened almost comically. He wasn't expecting me to do something like this. Part of me was confused as to why I was doing this too, but I couldn't lose Sebastian.

I loved Kurt, but most of the time I felt like I was being pushed into something that I didn't want. Almost like I had no say. I might not be a control freak, but I didn't want my control taken away either.

"What?" Kurt said anger sipping into his voice, "We have to practice for Nationals, Blaine. Everyone is…"

"Stop," I said cutting him off, "I'm sorry, Kurt."

"If you were sorry you wouldn't have left."

"That's not what I'm sorry for. Kurt, I don't think we should date anymore."

Silence filled the phone making my heart jump to my throat, but I didn't feel regret or sadness. Kurt was a good guy and I did love him. He was just a better friend than boyfriend though.

My eyes never left Sebastian's as I talked to Kurt. I could see hope slowly starting to fill him. He looked so happy with what I was doing, but I could still see the doubt in his eyes.

I couldn't blame him for that though. Enough people had hurt him in the past for him to be wary about everything that was going on now. I just knew what my heart was telling me.

Out of all the crushes I had, had this was the strongest. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life and I knew I'd regret it if I didn't at least give him, us, a chance of working out.

"What?" Kurt said softly.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," I said honestly, "I wish I was there to tell you this to your face, but I'm already hours away from McKinley."

"Why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me."

"I do, but not in the way I'm supposed to. We're good friends, not so good at dating though."

"You suck, Blaine Anderson."

I could hear the tears in Kurt's voice and that hurt me, but I was doing the right thing. Hanging up the phone calmly I placed a hand on the back of Sebastian's head and pulled him into another kiss.

His hands were instantly gripping my waist and holding me tightly against him. The grip was so tight, almost like he was afraid that he was going to lose me. I wasn't going to go leave though.

I knew that I threw myself into relationships with all of my heart and that I would most like get hurt, but I couldn't help it. I let my emotions rule over me too much. Pulling away when my heart said to go wasn't going to happen.

"There," I said smiling, "No more Kurt. Just the two of us."

"You didn't have to do that," Sebastian said shaking his head, "I want you to be happy, Blaine. If that means you're not with me than I'll deal with it."

"I'm doing this for me, Sebbie. I want to be with you. I want to give us a try. There's a few other things that I want to, but we'll get to them."

"What's the other things?"

"Well, one of them is coming back to Dalton. I miss that school so much."

"Everyone there misses you too. I can't tell you the times Nick has been talking and turned to ask you a question only to realize you weren't there. It's really sad sometimes."

Smiling slightly I rested my head against his chest, pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, and moved away from him. The keys were already in the ignition so once both of us had a seatbelt's on I started the car.

As I drove I saw Sebastian moving out of the corner of my eye. It wasn't until I felt his head rest against me that I realized what he was doing. He was so tired by his confession he just wanted sleep.

"Don't leave me, Blaine," Sebastian said shakily, "I can't lose you."

"Shh," I said wrapping an arm around his shoulders, "There's nowhere I'd rather be. Now go to sleep. I'll wake you up in a few hours and we can switch."

Sebastian gave me a small smile before letting his eyes slip shut. I loved this side of him. He was vulnerable and scared. He was being the human I knew that he had been hiding for so long.

I wondered when the last time someone had seen him like this. Did he really have no one who cared about him? Was he truly as alone in the world as he had said he was? Or did he just not let anyone in even if they did care?

It didn't matter in the end. Right now he needed me and I wanted to help him just like he was helping me. Maybe I was being a little childish about this, but I did want to be with Sebastian.

He was everything that I had dreamt my perfect man as. Strong, confident, loving. And most of all he could read me without me having to say anything to him and knew how to help me.

This was where I wanted to be for the rest of my life. I was only sixteen and nothing else in my life was figured out. I had Sebastian though and he was everything that I wanted.

As I continued to drive I thought back to the scars. After I got out of the hospital I had thought that was the way I would go. I ended up going to a psychologist and getting put on some medication to help with the depression.

Sebastian didn't have any of that. He was told that he needed to be fixed and that broke my heart. It turned him into someone that hurt people that he thought would get close to him in anyway.

He had basically told me that he was in love with me and look where that ended up. A rock salt slushy to the face that lead to me needing surgery. He had no idea what to do.

I knew there were going to be a lot of times that I would have to take care of him, but in the same instance he'd have to take care of me too. That was something I was actually looking forward too.

This was going to be hard. Sebastian was a bastard on his best day. He loved to do anything to harm another person, except when he was with me. What was I getting myself into?

"Seb," I said noticing it had been almost five hours, "Wake up."

Sebastian let out a soft groan as his eyes slowly opened. He looked so cute that I couldn't help but wish I could take a picture. This is how I wanted to remember him for the rest of my life.

"Hey," Sebastian said his voice slightly gritty.

"Hi," I said grinning.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I'm better then okay. God, Sebastian, you're amazing."

"I didn't do anything."

"You've given me the best day I could have asked for. Add that with how amazingly sexy you are. I've been dreaming of you for so long."

"Well, no more dreaming, Blaine. I'm here now and I'm not leaving."


	4. Chapter 4

Glee story I've been working on for awhile. Warnings: Slash, sexy time, self-harm. Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

"Sebastian," Blaine said softly as I ran a hand through his hair, "That feels so good."

"My, my," I said smirking, "Does someone have a slight hair kink?"

"It's not slight."

Grinning I started to tug slightly on his hair making him let out the sweetest moan I'd ever heard. If I thought his normal voice was amazing his moans were enough to make me hard.

"Seb," Blaine said thrusting his hips into the air slightly, "Please."

"Blaine," I said as his hand slowly ran up my thigh.

His hand made it's way higher until I was sure he was going to take me into his hands, but it froze when it was an inch away. It was almost like he realized what he was doing.

"How long until we get to the concert?" Blaine asked pulling away from me completely.

"An hour or two," I said cocking my eyebrow, "Why?"

"Because all I want is to feel your skin against mine. I want you to make me lose complete control."

"Blaine."

"I don't get it, Sebastian. I was never like this with anyone before. I never wanted to be like this. Everything is different with you. Like you're…"

"The other half of your personality?"

Blaine stared at me in shock before nodding his head quickly. I let out a soft sigh when I realized that both of us were on the same page. He understood what I was saying and that made me feel better.

He was starting to see everything that I had seen since I first met him. I knew from that moment that he was my future and I was never going to give that up. It's why I worked so hard to get him to date me before.

Now he was mine and I was his. There was no doubt in my mind that he was my soul mate. I never wanted to be without him, but I knew that I'd most likely mess this up before long.

I knew this and I had tried to warn Blaine. He wouldn't listen to me. He didn't understand that I wasn't a good person, that I wasn't the person for him. I was going to hurt him and he didn't seem to care.

I should have walked away from him a long time ago, but I couldn't. There was something about the man that kept my thoughts locked on him. I couldn't walk away even if I wanted to.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked linking his hand with mine.

"Of course I am," I said smirking, "Come on, Blaine. I can pull over and you can get your wish. That's what you want isn't it? To feel my skin against yours. I can make you scream so loud, B."

"Sebastian."

"I will to. I bet you like it rough. Kurt has nothing on me, I promise. How do that sound? Tie you up and just have my way with you. Make it so that you can't sit for days. I can…"

"Stop."

Hearing the sadness in Blaine's voice made me freeze. I couldn't help but look over at him and see the sadness wasn't just in his voice. His eyes were almost begging for me to stop.

A sigh slipped from my lips when I realized what I was doing. I was doing the same thing I always did when someone started to get close. I just hoped that he was going to see past that.

With a shake of my head I realized that I was just dreaming. Even if Blaine saw through what I was doing he was going to realize he didn't want me. Right now was just a dream that would end up crushing me soon.

"Why do you do that?" Blaine asked softly, "What are you afraid of, Sebastian?"

"I'm not afraid," I said through gritted teeth, "I'm pissed off."

"Why? What is going on? Please, Sebbie, talk to me."

Out of the front window I could see Indianapolis. It was only going to take a few minutes to get to the a hotel by the concert hall and I wanted to wait to have this conversation.

Blaine was staring at me expectedly though. He wanted answers right now and I doubted that he was going to let up until he did. I just didn't know how to explain what was going on in my head.

I was so used to one night stands and running away the second things turned even remotely emotional. The thought that I was going to have to explain everything in my mind was a little too much.

"Can we…" I started to say softly.

"No," Blaine said shaking his head, "Sebastian, you can't hide from me. I get that you have issues, but I want to help you. I want you to open up with me. Please, Seb, I don't want to lose you."

Clutching the steering wheel I found myself wondering what I was doing once again. How was I supposed to explain everything that was going on in my mind to Blaine? I could barely explain it to myself.

Blaine was so amazing though. He had my heart before he even opened his mouth. I never expected him to give me a chance or break up with Kurt for me. Now he was going to realize how messed up I truly was.

Without answering I pulled into a parking lot to a random motel and climbed out. I had to get away from Blaine before I screamed. I couldn't let him see me break like this so soon.

I could hear Blaine calling my name, but I continued into the building. If I could keep myself busy hopefully I could forget away from everything. Or at least I hoped to calm myself down a little.

By the time Blaine was by my side again I was leading us into our room. I had tried to get us a two bed room, but all that was left was one king size bed. How was Blaine going to react to that?

As we got closer to the room Blaine took the key from me and threw the door open. His hand wrapped around my wrist tugging me into the room. The door shut behind us while Blaine shoved me into it, flipped the light on, and started to take off my shirt.

"What are you doing?" I asked confused.

"I want to see them all," Blaine said calmly, "Every last one."

My eyes widened when I realized what he meant. Him seeing the scars was one thing, but if he took my shirt off he would be able to see the fresh cuts. Were things supposed to be moving this quickly?

No one ever cared this much about me before. My mom might love her, but she was self-absorbed on her best day. There was nothing I could do to make her not love me, but she was more of a friend then a mother.

Then there was Blaine. I loved him with all my heart from the moment I saw him and I could tell that he cared about me just as much. I was hiding so much from everyone, but I was already letting Blaine in.

"Don't hate me," I whispered as my shirt fell to the ground.

I heard a gasp fall from Blaine's lips when he saw just how much damage I did to myself. Scars were covering almost every inch of skin he could see. The fresh ones, on the other hand, were centered around my heart.

None of the new cuts were really all that deep, but with where they were they had bled a lot. They were healing by now though they still looked like I had just done them yesterday.

"Sebastian," Blaine said horror in his voice, "What…What have you done to yourself?"

"After I hurt you," I said my voice soft, "I couldn't handle it. I felt so guilty. I wanted to hurt Kurt not you. Never you."

"So you, what, try to cut out your heart?"

Looking Blaine in the eyes I hoped he got what I was meaning. I didn't want to admit what I had done. I didn't want him to feel any guilt. It was my fault and I knew what I was doing.

I didn't know how he was going to react though. All of this could be just too much for him. He barely knew anything about me, except for how messed up I truly was. How was that right?

Being so caught up in my thoughts I didn't notice Blaine start to remove my jeans and underwear. I felt my body tense as they joined my shirt on the ground. I couldn't believe he had stripped me completely naked.

Now that he could see all of my scars I expected him to walk out of the room without looking back. Instead I felt his hands gently gliding over my body. Why was he still here?

"Blaine," I whispered as he pulled us to the bed.

"Shh," Blaine said pushing me down and resting my head on his chest.

I opened my mouth to say something when I felt a hand softly scratching my scalp. Moaning slightly I closed my eyes and let myself relax in his arms. I hadn't been this comfortable in years.

Blaine was perfect in every way. Hell, he even knew how to make me relax without me having to tell him. Why was he able to do this to me? Why was I like this with him.

After a moment of just laying there Blaine softly started to sing. Hearing his voice mix with his actions I couldn't help but let myself fall into a deep sleep that I knew would be better then I had in awhile.


	5. Chapter 5

Glee story I've been working on for awhile. Warnings: Slash, sexy time, self-harm. Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

"Blaine," Sebastian said waking up slowly, "You okay?"

I smiled down at Sebastian and ran a hand through his hair slowly. Even now I could see the scars, the cuts, but this was perfect. Having him in my arms, asking if I was okay, was the best thing.

I didn't know if I could help him, if he needed me for anything, but I knew that I would do everything for him. First I had to get him to let me a little further into his life and thoughts.

"Blaine," Sebastian repeated while sitting up, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said smiling, "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"How I'm going to love waking up like this every morning."

Sebastian smiled calmly at me before pulling me into a kiss. Normally I hated having someone this close to me after I woke up, but Sebastian wasn't just anyone in anyway.

I expected Sebastian to pull away after what happened, but I should have known not to expect something normal from him. His arms wrapped around my waist and rolled us over so I was laying on top of him.

"Hello," I said giggling softly.

"You're so warm," Sebastian said burying his head in my neck, "So comfortable. So fucking sexy."

Sebastian bit into my neck and causing a moan to slip from my lips. His lips moved gently up my neck towards my lips. Before our lips touched a happy, sweet smile came to his lips.

"Thank you," Sebastian said raking a hand through my hair.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"Everything."

Smiling I kissed Sebastian softy letting everything wash over me. This was everything that I wanted and nothing that I had with Kurt. With Kurt it was always about him, but with Sebastian, no matter how many times he called himself a bastard, he made me feel like I was the most important thing ever.

I pulled back a second later and rolled out of the bed. Sebastian let out an overdramatic moan of disappointment. Though I could tell that he really was saddened by my leaving.

"Come on," I said pulling him up, "We have a whole day together before going to the concert. What are we going to do?"

"Anything," Sebastian said smirking, "We can do anything at all."

"Shopping!"

Sebastian laughed happily at me before shooting forward and wrapping his arms around my waist. Once both of us were back on the bed I let him move so he was leaning over me.

With a happy smile I attached my lips to his and let myself fall into the feeling. I didn't know that it was possible to get addicted to someone's kisses, but that's exactly what I felt now.

"Do you really want to go shopping?" Sebastian whispered against my lips.

"Considering the only clothes I have are the ones you bought me yesterday," I said running my hands down his back, "It's more of a need then a want."

"This could be so much more fun."

Sebastian gently ran a hand into my hair before roughly tugging on it. Moaning loudly I pulled him down so we were rubbing against each other. I could feel his hardness against me and I was loving it.

"How far have you…?" Sebastian asked staring down at me.

"I'm not a virgin," I said softly.

Nodding his head Sebastian locked his eyes with mine before slowly making his way down my body. I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing when he pulled me into his mouth.

A gasp fell from my lips as he deep throated me. Kurt and I might have had sex, but he had never done this for me and I hadn't done it for him. I couldn't believe what I had been missing.

"Sebastian," I moaned threading my fingers in his hair, "Ohh…So good."

"Blaine," Sebastian said pulling back, "Don't hold back. Let go."

Sebastian's mouth was instantly on me again taking me as deep as he could. Without thinking I started to thrust deeply into his throat causing a moan to fall from not only my throat but his.

Closing my eyes I continued abusing his throat until I heard Sebastian's moans getting louder. I looked down at my boyfriend and saw that his hand was wrapped around himself.

My eyes kept locked to his hand moving quickly until I felt my stomach tighten. I knew that I was going to come soon and I wanted to bring him over the edge along with me.

"Sebastian," I moaned loudly, "Oh god….Ahh…"

A long moan fell from Sebastian's throat as he came. Seeing the pleasure fell his face I followed a few seconds later. He swallowed as much as he could though some slipped out of his mouth.

With a content smile I pulled Sebastian up and rested him next to me. He returned the smile though his eyes were closed. It was amazing how he looked right now, so peaceful and happy.

Pressing my lips against his I licked everything away until I could just see his smile. I pulled back slightly and moved to rest my head on his chest only to pull back fully.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian asked opening his eyes.

"Getting comfortable," I said pulling my clothes off.

"We do have to go shopping."

"We can do that in an hour. Right now I just want to feel you."

Sebastian kissed my forehead calmly before cuddling me to his chest. Nothing could beat this. I mean, Kurt and I had cuddled all the time, but it never made me feel like I was home.

That's what Sebastian was. He wasn't just my boyfriend, but a place where I felt like I had a home no matter what. I belonged here. I just wish that I had found him before this.

"I love you Sebastian," I muttered against his chest, "And I promise I won't hurt you and if I ever do I will make you feel better. You're never going to lose me."

"I love you too Blaine," Sebastian said softly.


End file.
